This past summer was a hot one; I was in constant need of hydration.\u00a0 Chugging glass after glass of plain water quickly became boring, and soda is gross to me (and I live in a small home with little storage).\u00a0 I needed a different option if I was to survive the season with a proper water balance.\u00a0 Earlier, I\u2019d discovered that instant calorie-free Crystal Light is sold in single-serving packets, each packing containing enough powder to convert a bottle of water into a flavorful refreshment.\u00a0 I purchased a few flavors with reckless abandon\u2026all this variety and no calories!\u00a0 But, as with so many things in life, there was a problem.\u00a0 The artificial sugar gave me, let\u2019s just say, issues.\u00a0 Look it up.\u00a0 \u2018Nuff said.<\/p>\n
My solution happened at Target, of all places, while I was purchasing some pens.\u00a0 I strolled down the aisle just browsing, when the Holy Grail of single-serving deliciousness caught my eye:\u00a0 Hawaiian Punch.\u00a0 You remember that, I\u2019m sure\u2026the bright red color that stained even black shirts, the funny-looking mascot who\u2019d punch anything that moved, the metallic but delicious taste.\u00a0 I bought six whole boxes.\u00a0 It tasted just like my childhood (well, back then we ignored the instructions and added twice the liquid concentrate as was required to water, to intensify the sugary high).\u00a0 My addiction to the cure for summer dehydration had begun\u2026I went to town all season on the stuff.<\/p>\n
Late last summer, disaster stuck.\u00a0 I went to the store to replenish my supply, but there was nothing.\u00a0 My supplier had simply cut me off, and I could feel the withdrawal symptoms coming on.\u00a0 I searched around the aisle and then around the store.\u00a0 The manager told me, when I finally asked him, that the packets were a seasonal item.\u00a0 How could this be?\u00a0 Perhaps a villain had predicted my need and bought out the entire inventory.\u00a0 I left, outraged.\u00a0 And quickly formulated a new plan (they couldn\u2019t keep me from my drink of choice).\u00a0 I looked online and found a box or two, but knew I\u2019d never survive the fall and winter on such a meager supply.\u00a0 Someone, somewhere must have more\u2026but no one, it seemed, could offer me a fix.\u00a0 I fell into a dehydration-induced depression.\u00a0 What was I to do?\u00a0 I never imagined that this day would come\u2026my summer of Hawaiian Punch was over.<\/p>\n
You might assume that I could simply go back to water and get over it.\u00a0 But I\u2019d tasted the nectar of the Gods; how could I return to blandness?\u00a0 My tastes were now too refined.\u00a0 Every time I browsed the aisle at Target, my hopes rose.\u00a0 I\u2019d get a little flighty knot in my stomach, my hands shaking slightly as I walked down the aisle as I frantically looked to see if a box had been shoved behind something else, perhaps.\u00a0 Each time, though, I\u2019d leave empty-handed and crestfallen.\u00a0 What evil loser had already found the displaced boxes before I\u2019d arrived?\u00a0 I was parched, grouchy, and couldn\u2019t go on much longer.<\/p>\n
And then one day, my luck changed.\u00a0 I found an entire case!\u00a0 The manager told me it had been in the stockroom (yeah right, those lying bastards, holding out on me\u2026they knew I was suffering but didn\u2019t care).\u00a0 As of this writing, I know that what I have won\u2019t last me until next summer, when those \u201cseasonal items\u201d come back.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoarding my crop as best I can until then\u2026they\u2019re in the back of the cabinet, where no one else will see them.\u00a0 No one else understands or appreciates those wonderful little packets.<\/p>\n
Next summer, let global warming cook the planet:\u00a0 I will be prepared.\u00a0 Everyone else can dry up but I\u2019ll be fully hydrated thanks to my imitation-flavored liquid love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This past summer was a hot one; I was in constant need of hydration.\u00a0 Chugging glass after glass of plain water quickly became boring, and soda is gross to me (and I live in a small home with little storage).\u00a0 I needed a different option if I was to survive the season with a proper […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n